When I am bleeding, my body asks me to slow down. I turn my focus within, I listen. I find myself stepping gently, intentionally. My movements are softer, careful. There is no need to rush.
My uterus aches and lets me know this is a time to do less. I listen. I lay on the couch, homemade bean bag that I warmed up on the wood stove resting on my belly – soothing. I breathe deeply, my senses heightened. Sun light flooding through the window seems especially bright this morning. The sounds of every day life crash into me like bricks, so I keep my focus inward, I relax, and I let go. By going within, I connect to my intuition, and I listen. The physical world melts away.
I crave silence, and solitude. I crave the peace and expanse of wilderness – leaves and moss beneath my bare feet, warm breeze playing with my hair, birds overhead singing their symphonies… But my reality is that of winter. A deep blanket of snow still envelops the landscape. The cold wind rattles the naked trees and reminds me to stay inside, and keep warm. Though I long for spring today, I embrace the cold darkness. The seasons speak, and I listen. The forest is quiet, deep slumber, so I too shall embrace stillness.
Bleeding opens me up in powerful ways. The veil between the worlds is thinner. I am reminded to guard this time of blossoming, where my soul is laid bare, exposed, and raw. This is a time to seek nurturance and warmth – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I listen.
When I am bleeding, I say prayers of thankfulness for the blood of life that moves through me. I pay close attention to the sensations and experiences of this cyclical dance. I notice that my bleeding pulses – it is not a continuous flow. I can feel when my body wants to release it, so I listen, and I allow it to flow freely. Calm washes over me, I connect to something far bigger than myself, and I embrace this sacred moment.
When the sun soon returns with it’s heat and longer days, I will sit in meditation in the woods, and offer my blood directly to the soil of the land. This is an ancient practice that allows me to connect deeply with our mother earth. It opens a direct line of communication to the energy that moves through all things. It brings me closer to all bleeding women everywhere, and throughout time immemorial. If I listen, I can hear their songs, and I can feel their strength.
